


you.

by leedeeloo



Category: All Elite Wrestling, Professional Wrestling, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, age gap, fellas is it gay to silently pine over a man for over half your life, fellas is it weird to tenderly press your lips to a sleeping mans, shout out to the tag wranglers i have NO IDEA where youre gonna put those last two, this is like my second posted work of this exact premise, this is some hot angst actually, unrequited feelings and things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:59:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26475301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leedeeloo/pseuds/leedeeloo
Summary: Jack has a crush. A great big terrible crush, and he makes a great big terrible mess about it.
Relationships: Jungle boy/Marko Stunt, jungle boy/luchasaurus
Comments: 12
Kudos: 20





	1. difference

**Author's Note:**

> thank you robin for editing this first chapter

They were all sharing a room. Marko won the rock-paper-scissors match, so he got one of the beds to himself. Jack had expected Austin to complain about it, try and negotiate a do-over, or take it anyways, but he didn't. He laughed, patted Marko’s head, and said fair was fair.

Just as Jack felt that flash of jealousy spark in his mind, Austin turned to him. He placed his large hand on Jack's shoulder, winked, and said he'd try not to take up _too_ much space.

Jack just nodded.

Laying awake that night, curled on his side and staring at the profile of Austin's face, Jack thought about how he'd let Austin take up anything he wanted. He could take the whole bed, the blankets, sure, but Jack was willing to give him anything he asked for.

He was so handsome, even as he slept. The gentle rise and fall of his chest. He'd always been, Jack thought, the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Even when he was a kid he thought that. Even when he was a kid, he never told anyone about this. Up too late on sleepovers with his friends, hiding out in bathrooms when they were supposed to be going home, friends would confess crushes either red faced or nonchalant, and Jack never did. A few friends would let it slip out, either in groups or alone to him (Why did they pick him? Did they know he could keep a secret like this?) about crushes on other boys. Laying in bed next to Austin, he felt it, that red-faced, breath halting confession of what you were sure the other person would strike you down for. That bad-dirty-wrong feeling that had been placed there by someone else. 

There was a difference.

Most of his friends liked girls. A few liked boys. Jack liked a man.

He turned his face into his pillow, forcing an eye shut and his vision going flat, mono, the focus changing. He thought about how long he'd held onto this. Counting back to when he'd first met Austin, that pounding in his chest wasn't too far after that.

About 13 years, he figured. Most of his life, holding this crush-- maybe it was crushing him now, instead. Just like Austin's body weight on him would--

Jack squeezed his eyes shut, grit his teeth. He tried not to do this. He couldn't get caught up in fantasies, especially not now that they _worked_ together. It was a dream and a nightmare; he could get Austin's attention, his time, whenever he wanted. If it was work related enough, he could spend all damn day with Austin if he wanted.

But he knew it would never go anywhere.

He'd never have a chance, he knew it, from all the times Austin would pat his head, call him kiddo, call himself an old man and over exaggerate his few body pains. He knew it, from Austin’s grimacing and gossiping about his peers that had no shame and dated people ten years younger. 

He’d always be a kid to Austin, and if he wasn't, he was still too damn young.

Jack rolled onto his back and sat up. This was stupid-- torture, even. He'd been excited but now he was sure he'd never get to sleep the whole time he was here. There was one more night, maybe he could ask for his own room. Say they snored, or something. He rubbed his hands over his face, pulling and distorting the flesh. He pinched his cheeks, hard, sure to leave blotchy red patches he'd have to lie about in the morning. 

He lied back down to grab his phone and check the time; it was barely 2, solidly the middle of the night. 4 more hours until it was acceptable to be up, maybe 3.

He sat up again, scooting back. He looked away from Austin, to the other bed, to Marko. His chest reflected the little bit of light sneaking past the curtains, sheets down at his hips. He knocked out as soon as his head hit the pillow, wasn't plagued by being in love with his teammate.

Well. Maybe he was. Not as if Jack had ever asked-- he had some hidden depth, Jack had seen flashes of it the more time they spent together. This kind of bleakness, pushing his urge to leave a mark on the world.

Jack stretched his arms out in front of himself, letting out a small sigh as he relaxed. He decided he wasn't going to sleep tonight. He could catch up later, take catnaps during the day or just power through it. 

He didn't mean to, but his focus fell on Austin again. One arm folded over his chest, the other tucked somewhere under the blanket. He’d straightened his hair and just let it go everywhere, a mess over the pillow. He had these permanent little creases on his nose, where the bridge of his glasses sat. Jack turned onto his side, elbow under him, watching. Staring, really. Staring at the slight part of Austin's lips, his beard, how soft his shoulders seemed even though Jack knew (very well) how hard and muscled they were, just like every part of him. Nothing about him was soft, nothing should have been gentle. The floor legitimately shook as he walked by, he could never shrink down, fit in-- not that he wanted to, anyway. 

Jack pushed himself up, sideways. One hand where he was supposed to be laying, the other grabbing the headboard over Austin's head, a little past. He didn't want to put his hand on the mattress or his pillow, make them dip, risk waking him. Grabbing the headboard gave him enough balance to lean over Austin, for Jack to put his face over his. 

He liked to look at the tattoos on his neck. At how they twisted, back and away. A few years ago he could pester Austin with questions about them, how much it hurt, how did he have to lay, circling around him and finding a path of one of the vines circling him. Now he didn't have that childish ignorance excuse. He knew everything Austin would tell him, and that was the end of it. 

He could feel Austin’s slow breaths hitting his face. Being face to face with him was almost too much-- he was always looking up at Austin. He wondered what would happen if Austin's eyes opened right at this second. Maybe, he thought, his heart gripped by sick glee, Austin would finally see him as a man. Maybe, if he could literally get on the same level, actually see him eye-to-eye, Austin wouldn't dismiss him outright as a kid with a crush. 

Jack licked his lips, took in a breath, and held it. He lowered his face, slowly, until the tip of his nose just met the tip of Austin’s. Until his face was almost too close, any closer and he wouldn't be able to see. 

What did he look like from this close? What kind of face was he making? He wanted to know, needed to know, as if making the right expression at the right angle would get Austin to dismiss everything he’d ever said or thought and-- and--

And love Jack back, even just for a second. He'd taken up Jack's heart for _years_ , one bed didn't matter to him. 

Jack pushed off the headboard, turned over, and curled back up. He tugged the sheets up, covering himself completely, staring across at Marko, and how he almost became one with the bed. When trying to distinguish where exactly his pale skin ended and the white sheets began, Jack finally fell asleep.


	2. softer, somehow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marko jumps in and makes things more of a mess.

“I’ve liked you a long time, y’know.”

Jack just stared, the words hitting his ears, not actually sinking in and getting processed. It didn’t seem real, didn’t seem right for that to just… happen. 

He looked down at Marko, his own eyes wide. Marko stared up at him with similarly wide eyes, his mouth in a tight embarrassed line, cheeks going pink, going red.

Jack nodded, agreeing to _something_.

* * *

Marko told everyone they were dating basically as soon as Jack said yes. It was kind of embarrassing. Then, it was outright mortifying when he told Austin-- Jack watched him, Marko excited as ever, craning his neck up, almost completely vertical to tell their teammate.

It was a front row seat to his heart breaking. To Austin smiling, hugging Marko with one arm, saying they made a cute couple. 

He let Marko link their fingers together, but Jack didn’t bend his fingers around his hand like Marko did.

* * *

Marko pressed his lips to Jack’s, then pulled back a moment later when he didn’t move.

“Geez,” he breathed, smile showing off his crooked teeth, “haven’t you ever kissed anyone before?”

Jack blinked down at him. He tilted his head, squinting, thinking. He flicked through the years of his life in his head, honestly trying to remember if he’d ever kissed anyone, anyone at all. He came to the conclusion that, since there was only one person he’d wanted to kiss for over half his life, and since that wasn’t going anywhere, he had never wanted to bother with anyone else, and wound up skipping out entirely.

He couldn’t say that, though, so he just shrugged and said, “guess not.”

Everything drained out of Markos face as he stuttered out apologies, rambling, “--I didn’t mean-- I’m sorry, dude, I-- I’m sorry!” Jack must’ve made a face, because Marko explained, more rambling, that of course he’d never done this, and he _got it_ completely, he knew Jack had been wrestling since he was a kid, of course it had taken over his life, it still did, Marko completely _got_ being a late bloomer, he was too, he got it, he got it, he got it. 

He wasn’t going to let this drop until Jack stopped him.

“It’s fine,” Jack said. “Don’t worry about it.”

Marko didn’t seem to listen to that, fidgeting, picking lint, hairs, off of Jack’s shirt. 

“Try it again,” Jack said, soft, not sure if he meant it. Either way, Marko brightened back up, tilting his face towards Jack’s, eyes closed and lips parting, just slightly. Jack copied him, trying this time as they bumped their lips together, wondering if he was doing it right until Marko pulled away not quite like the first time, smiling again, softer now, somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :))))  
> also i changed the title to something more fitting hjsdghfd sorry.


	3. knowing

The adrenaline, the joy, at winning a match was always overshadowed by the celebration. Not some party-- that was way later. What Jack loved was right after, him and his teammates bouncing around the ring, into each other, wrapping arms around one another. 

Jack always shut his eyes when Austin hugged him. It only lasted a second, they all did, really, all of them sweaty and sore and eager to rest, eat. But he could press into Austin’s side, into his torso, and just enjoy the moment. He could _hold him_ for a breath, could feed that craving. 

Once they started dating, Marko would keep his arm around Jack longer than before, sometimes leave a hand on his back as they walked up the ramp and backstage. 

Jack didn’t _hate_ Marko, that couldn’t be further from the truth; he was his friend, his colleague, his _teammate_. Jack liked Marko plenty, even loved him--

As a friend. That was all. 

Marko was falling for him. Jack knew. He saw it grow, every day. When they were together, Marko was at his side constantly, touching him, laughing with him, giving him these looks that Jack had been throwing at Austin for years. 

God, he tried to give it back. He did, he really did. If he could just get wrapped up enough in this, in Marko, maybe that would be enough. He could move on. 

Six months in and he knew he was exactly where he had always been.

* * *

Jack had turned down going out with Marko-- not a date, a bunch of the other wrestlers were going-- and he kissed his forehead, his lips, told him goodbye at the doorway of Austin’s hotel room. Just next door of theirs. 

They hung out one on one plenty. All of them. It wasn’t weird, or unusual. Jack just wasn’t into going to a bar or whatever that night. He wanted to stay in, hang out with one of his oldest friends. 

Austin always packed Jack’s favourite candy. 

He cared in this quiet way, Jack noticed. He’d do little stuff like that, remember someone’s favourite snack and keep it on hand at his place for when they came by. He’d text Jack the first day of the year it was warm enough to use his pool and invite him over, knowing full well Jack’s parents had a pool as well. He’d wait for Jack at baggage claim in the one airport he got lost at once, making sure he made his way out. 

Jack pulled open a jolly rancher-- watermelon, his second favourite flavour-- and creased and folded the wrapper. 

“How’re you and Marko?” Austin asked. Jack looked up at him, just moving his eyes, candy sticking to his teeth as he moved it around his mouth. Austin smiled at him, a gentle squint around his eyes.

“We’re good,” Jack said, looking back to the wrapper. “Jus’ didn’t feel like going out tonight, s’all.” 

Austin hummed, waiting for Jack to continue. The room was on a low enough floor that they could just hear the rush of traffic on the street below. 

“...That’s it?” Austin asked, and Jack looked up again, brow creasing. 

“What do you mean, ‘that’s it’?”

“Marko talks about you all the time.” 

Jack bit the jolly rancher, hard sugar softening a little, his teeth sticking in and then ripping out and away almost violently with how sudden it was. “He talks enough for both of us.” 

“Jack,” Austin said, voice taking on a stern tone. Jack rolled his eyes, sucking in his cheeks. Austin had been doing this more and more lately, acting like a _real adult_ , like he had to watch out for Jack having his first boyfriend. Like he was a teenager, a stupid kid.

“We’re fine,” Jack said, “we’re good, or whatever, you don’t gotta--” he waved his hand dismissively. “--do whatever this is.” 

Austin shrugged, hands up, palms out. “Just thought you’d be a bit more excited!” He pushed himself up out of his seat, walking past Jack to the TV, grabbing the remote. “Just figured,” he said, slow, “you didn’t wanna date unless you really liked someone, and you’d want a chance to gush about it.” 

He didn’t go back to the chair across from Jack; he went to his bed instead, stretching across it, head propped up on his hand. The TV was just over Jack’s shoulder, he’d have to turn to look at it. 

“He jus’ asked,” Jack mumbled, hoping he was too quiet, too garbled, for Austin to catch.

The way he looked over told Jack he’d heard. 

Jack shrugged. “He asked me out. I said yes. Tha’s about it, dude.” 

Austin stared at him for a second, then looked back at the TV. Jack could see the flicker of the screen in Austin’s glasses. “You like him now, then?”

“I guess.”

That made Austin sit up. “You guess?” he repeated, looking at Jack. Looking into his soul, it felt like.

Jack shrugged again. 

“Marko _really_ likes you, Jack,” Austin said, that sternness coming back, giving Jack a lump in his throat. “He deserves more than ‘I guess’.”

“I know,” Jack said, staring at the floor. “...sorry.”

“I’m not the one that needs to hear that.”

“...I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i might let this sit a couple days? idk leave a comment n lemme know.  
> ALSO i have no clue what jacks actual favourite candy is.


	4. with you

Jack didn’t know when to do it.

He couldn’t keep dating Marko. He knew that. He thought, stupidly, stubbornly, that he’d just… get over Austin. Get over the last 13 years of his life. He thought if he went along with it long enough, it wouldn’t  _ matter _ . 

Whatever “it” was. Jack couldn’t keep track of his own thoughts anymore, it felt like. He couldn’t keep anything straight, as if having a clear train of thought would make it easy for someone to listen in on them, and call him out for being a piece of shit. 

He told Marko he wanted to talk without thinking about it. He texted him. It was the end of the trip, they were both flying out in the morning. 

Despite “we need to talk” never sounding good, and Jack doing nothing to soften it, Marko came bounding into their hotel room-- he’d skipped out on dinner with his friends, excited that Jack had something to tell him.

Goddammit. 

Marko practically ran into the room, wrapping his arms around Jack’s waist before the door even shut. Jack raised his arms up, didn’t hug back, tried not to touch him. 

“C’mon,” Jack said as the door fell shut. He put his hands on Marko’s shoulders, pushing him back. Countering it. Marko went up on his toes, trying to kiss Jack, who turned his head to avoid it. 

There was a soft thump as Marko went down on his heels. Jack looked at him, head still turned away. He had a face like, like-- like he was getting it now.

* * *

Barely half an hour later, Jack was rolling his hastily packed suitcase down the hotel hallway. He didn’t really know where he was going, if he was going to grovel for a room for the night at the front desk, or find someone to bunk with for the night, or what. 

Other than very understandably not wanting to share a room with his now ex-boyfriend, who only explained that there was someone else taking up space in his heart, Marko didn’t seem all that upset. Or at least, not mad. Not at Jack. 

Jack went into the elevator, careful to make sure the wheels on his suitcase didn’t catch. The gap always freaked him out, he always worried about dropping things down it, about getting his toe stuck in there, somehow. He still didn’t know where to go, and pressed the highest floor.

* * *

The roof access wasn’t open, obviously, so Jack found himself in a corner of the lobby. No one seemed to even notice he was there. He wasn’t anyone-- certainly not someone that just broke one of his best friend’s hearts. He was just a dude with a suitcase and a hoodie, staring at his phone. 

It buzzed in his palm.

Austin.

“Where are you?”

Jack stared at the message preview until it disappeared. He cleared the notification, and pretended it didn’t happen. He wasn’t in the mood to be yelled at, especially not for doing the objectively right thing. Or lectured. Or whatever Austin thought he ‘needed’ right now. 

Jack tried to work himself into being annoyed with Austin, but he just couldn’t. He  _ got _ Austin, understood him better than himself, he felt like, and he knew he was just trying to do what was right. What would, ultimately, be better for Jack. For the team. Jack knew how Austin ticked, and knew exactly what he was trying to do. 

He’d get over it, just like Marko would. 

It was an ironclad rationale until Austin appeared in front of Jack, panting like he’d just run a marathon. 

Jack didn’t have time to process his stomach dropping before Austin just… picked him up, putting Jack’s body over his shoulder like a sack of flour. He could hear Austin give friendly ‘hello’s to people who were absolutely staring, and Jack watched them stare at him as they walked past, Austin trailing Jack’s suitcase behind him.

* * *

Austin dropped Jack onto his bed, and Jack was expecting a lecture. What he got instead was Austin telling him, still out of breath, “don’t run off,” before leaving to shower. 

Jack wrapped his arms around himself, holding his waist, listening to the water. He didn’t dare move, lay down, even grab his phone. He didn’t expect this, had no idea what was coming. Austin probably was worried-- but why not chew him out now? 

Maybe he wasn’t mad. Maybe Marko hadn’t told him anything. 

The bathroom door opened and Jack realized that was idiotic. Marko told Austin exactly how terrible and heartless he already knew Jack was. He was going to get kicked off the team, out of the company, this was it. He knew it. He ruined everything in under and hour.

Austin sat next to him, still wet, still warm, and put an arm around his shoulders. “Y’good, kiddo?”

Jack’s brain moved like the last grains of sand in an hourglass. 

A gentle shaking at his shoulder, a prompting “hm?”

“You’re not mad?” Jack asked, leaning against Austin. 

A pause. “I was worried,” he said slowly, “because no one knew where you were, and Marko said you looked out of it.” 

Jack turned his head, pressing his cheek to Austin’s side. He could smell his body wash; piney, reminded Jack of christmas. He shut his eyes and finally released his grip on himself, letting his arms and shoulders relax. “M’sorry,” he mumbled, “I’m okay now.”

Austin rubbed up and down Jack’s arm, and Jack let himself be pushed in and out. “Yeah?” Austin asked.

“Yeah,” Jask said, “I’m with you now.”

It was quiet after that, but in a good way.

* * *

Austin slept like a rock. It was kind of impressive, how, once he fell asleep for the night, nothing could wake him until his body decreed it. He’d learned about it, as did Marko, when they had not-so quiet conversations well into the night, Austin sleeping peacefully the next bed over. 

A small smile spread across Jack’s face while he stared at Austin. Not about him, but about the memories of shushing Marko, or hearing a hissed ‘shut up’ while they tried not to break out laughing, the dark of the hotel rooms making everything the funniest thing in the world. He was confident they’d get back to that soon-- Austin told him Marko was sad, but he saw it coming, apparently, figured it wasn't completely reciprocal. They could talk in the morning. It would be okay,

For the most part, Austin didn’t press for details-- he probably didn’t care, really-- except for one thing. 

The “there’s someone else” thing. 

And he didn’t press for details, not really. He just brought up a couple times over the evening, how he never thought Jack liked anyone. How he couldn’t imagine who Jack liked, who else he spent enough time with to develop feelings for. 

He said outright that he’d love to know. 

Curled up next to him in bed, just like before anything really happened, Jack watched Austin sleep. Watched his eyes roll under his eyelids, listened to him breathe, analyzed the angle of his adam’s apple. 

Jack got the urge to check. The past six months, he’d tried to shove Austin out of his mind but clung to every little moment with him. He just had to check whether or not he still liked him.

He pushed himself up on one arm, the other reaching over Austin, to the other side of his head. Holding his breath, Jack held himself over Austin, realizing then that he never tied back his hair, and it fell in a curtain around their faces. He could smell Austin’s breath, his toothpaste, and just  _ him _ . It was a hotel but the whole damn room smelled like him, Jack could swear on it. Right here, hovering his face over Austin’s, it was just them. No room, no bed, just their faces, floating in space, Jack alone and staring. 

He tilted his head, parted his lips, and kissed Austin. Gentle. Soft. Just a second. 

“It’s you,” he whispered before retreating and going to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOLLY UNRELATED but the autofill on my computer always suggests "now, we wife" when i name a chapter bc i wrote it ONCE as a chapter title on ONE FIC and god wants me to be reminded of the time i made an alien cyclops a divorcee with a robot.  
> anyway let me know how this hurt you. you can let me know in comments here, or over on my tumblr, dykostunt.


	5. dude.

It was a day Jack had decided to spend at Austin’s house. He did this fairly frequently, only granting Austin the notice of texting him while he was already on the way, and that was about it. It was somehow always enough, though, rousing Austin from sleep, and, if Jack was lucky, he’d be greeted at the door by a freshly woken Austin, hair in the same bun he slept in, a shot in the dark as to whether or not he’d have bothered to put his glasses on to get to the door.

Another one of those days, and Austin gave him the same tired smile as always as Jack ran in, ducking under his arm, still holding the door open.

“Is your pool clean?” Jack called, heading for the backyard.

“Good morning to you too,” Austin replied, locking the door and following. “It should be. I had the first swim before we left town.”

“Can’t believe you had first swim without me,” Jack said, voice muffled as he pulled off his shirt. He was already on the back patio, kicking off his flip flops, shaking his hair out once he got his shirt off. Sure, he lived with his mom and sister and yeah, they had a pool, too. But their pool didn’t have Austin.

He honestly did want to swim, though. Even though the water was ice cold in the morning and half in a shadow that didn’t go away, and just slowly moved across the water over the day. It was enough to float and splash on his own, watching Austin pass by the back door, the windows, occasionally. 

Eventually though, he did get bored of it. Cold. Eventually, he dragged himself out of the water, pulled his towel and change of shorts from the duffel bag he brought, and dried himself off enough to not be dripping when he went inside. He went straight for Austin’s bathroom, grabbing a second towel for his hair, putting on the hoodie that Austin kept hanging on a hook on the door, and dried his legs off enough to pull on the fresh shorts; they felt warm, fresh from the dryer, over his cooled skin. Austin kept saying he wanted a bathrobe, a proper one, but he kept putting it off. 

Jack couldn’t find Austin, but he wasn’t looking. He went straight for the living room couch; it was plush, comfy, a little old, and Jack could always just sink into it. He’d gotten up pretty early for the chance to wake up Austin, and he’d tired himself out, so, as per usual, he was going to take a nap. Almost every time he came over, he’d curl up against the arm of it, and sleep. It was some of the best sleep he ever got, always waking up alert and refreshed.

He pulled the hood up, settled into the corner of the couch, and drifted off.

* * *

Jack woke up to the soft din of the TV. The weather channel, maybe. And a weight over his legs-- a blanket. He rubbed his eyes and pushed off his hood, vision focusing on Austin sitting on the other end of the couch. Jack squirmed, stretched, took up the entire length of the couch to poke his toe against Austin’s thigh. He saw it coming, literally, and grabbed Jack’s ankle over the blanket.

“Mornin’, sleepy head.”

“You tucked me in.” 

Jack kept fussing with the hoodie; pulling the sleeves over his hands, popping the end of the drawstrings in his mouth, adjusting the hood, the zipper. Austin wasn’t watching, instead looking ahead, at the TV. He squeezed Jack’s ankle. “You looked cold,” was all he said. 

Jack rolled over a bit, just his shoulders turning towards the TV, the edge of the couch, pulling the blanket up. He was dry, warm, and wouldn’t be mad if he dozed off again. 

Austin rubbing his leg perked him up again, and he raised his head to watch Austin turning his face to him. 

“Who is it?” Austin asked.

“What?” Jack replied.

Austin smiled, lopsided, shook his head and looked forward again. “When you ended things with Marko, you both told me it was because you liked someone else.” That smile stuck as he looked at Jack again. “I’ve been dying to know the whole time, ‘cause I can't figure it out.”

Jack just about forgot to breathe. He smiled, tight, and shook his head. “Dude--”

“Jack.”

“You’re dying? You’re dying to know, man?”

“One foot in the grave.”

Jack rolled his eyes, couldn’t stop from grinning. He sat up, pulling his legs away from Austin, tucking them under himself. He licked his lips, tongue staying out at the corner. 

He stared up at Austin, and he stared back. He wondered for a moment when the last time they looked each other in the eye like this was. Maybe during their last match. 

“Dying, Jack,” Austin reminded him. 

“S’you,” he mumbled. 

Austin blinked, eyebrows creasing together. “What?” he asked.

“It’s you,” Jack said again, clearer this time. 

Austin blushed from the neck up. From the collar of his shirt up into his jaw, over the top of his beard and then the tips of his ears. He shook his head, stuttered. “You’re-- no, you don’t-- I’m not _kidding_ Jack, I wanna know!”

“I’m not kidding either!” Jack said, couldn’t help the smile on his face in spite of himself. “I know I’m just-- just a kid to you, but it’s…” He shrugged, couldn’t bear to look up at Austin. “Can’t help it.” 

The couch cushion dipped as Austin slid closer, right in front of Jack. There was a hand on the back of his head, he was being held, and then he realized, belatedly, once it was done, a kiss pressed to the top of his head. That hand stayed on the back of his head, only allowing him to peer up with his eyes, and he still couldn’t see Austin’s expression. 

“Hey?” Jack whispered, barely able to hear himself. 

“You’re not a kid,” Austin said, his voice a low rumble just in front of Jack’s forehead. He laughed, a soft reserved chuckle. “Thought you’d be freaked out about an old guy like me being into you.”

Jack scrambled trying to grab onto Austin, to get a hand on his bicep, the other cradling his neck, just the way Austin was doing to him. Austin was still blushing, and Jack was sure he matched. He straightened his posture, tried to get level with Austin, see him face to face, for once. 

“I wanna kiss you,” Jack said, and Austin asked “Can I kiss you?” at the same time.

Jack grinned, Austin smiled, and they pressed their lips together, Jack letting out a soft hum.

Both of their shoulders fell; a stress, a weight, realizing they didn't know they or the other was holding, which fell away as their lips slid against the others. Austin was the first to make a noise, deep in the back of his throat, and the first to pull away, pressing his forehead to Jack’s, both of them panting hot breaths. 

They tried to kiss again, but Jack’s grin broke it.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said, giving his head a little shake. “This is just… I’m not dreaming, right?”

Austin shook his head. “You’re wide awake,” he promised. “Here, look,” he started, sitting up a little straighter, shoulder’s straightening. “So, although Chaucer’s works are dated to the late 14th century, much of his works weren’t actually published until after his death, in about--”

“Okay!” Jack yelled, wide grin across his cheeks, “this isn’t a dream, this is real, I got it.” 

Austin chuckled, shoulders shaking, as he nuzzled his cheek against Jack’s. “Had to make sure,” he said, sing-song. 

They stayed like that for a bit. Stayed quiet, stayed breathing against one another. 

“...You can tell me,” Jack said, “tell me whatever you want, I wanna hear it.” 

Austin’s arms tightened around him, smile on his face, as he explained to his boyfriend the ups and downs of Chaucer’s life, and reception to his publications. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY thank you for sticking on this. sorry i wanted yall to suffer.  
> lemme know what you think! either here in the comments (theyre open to everyone!) or on my tumblr, dykostunt! id love to hear any feedback on this, ideas for this, just how your day went, anything! please if you have a thought, lemme know.  
> okay ilu bye <3

**Author's Note:**

> hey dont worry this'll get way worse before it gets better. i'll update the tags for each chapter if i need to.


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